Discouraged...Encouraged...

Well, I've been "busy" getting forms filled out for our Youth and Family Services (Batshaw).  Once I hand all those in, we can get our homestudy completed.  It has been quite discouraging getting all the forms filled out.  They surprised us with a financial statement they want us to get completed by our bank.  We never had this before and I'm not understanding why now.  My guess is this is a third adoption and they want to make sure we can afford 3 children.

Our bank will not sign the form.  They will not make a claim that we are financially sound to raise a child.  URGH!  I contacted Batshaw and they said it was no problem.  All they really needed was a letter stating we pay our bills on time.  GREAT!  I try to contact the bank manager, with no response.  URGH!  Finally after several phone calls, he phoned me back yesterday that the bank would write a letter for both Jon and I that our accounts are in good standing order.  GREAT!  And that there is usually a $10 fee per letter, but the bank would pay that cost in support of us.  GREAT!

Jon still has to go see a doctor to get a requisition for blood work, get the blood work done, then get the Dr. to complete (2) medical forms.  He is so busy at work and has had to take some time off because he pulled a muscle in his neck, I just don't know when this is going to happen.  Medicals are the worst!  I got mine filled out yesterday since I had had blood work done a couple of months ago, my Dr. was able to complete it withing minutes!

I`ve just been feeling discouraged that I almost told Jon this past weekend, I didn't want to do this anymore.  What if this isn't the Lord's will and this is our cue to stop here?  But then these thoughts pop in my mind, "If this is really the Lord's will, I surely don't want us to miss out on such a blessing!"; "If this is really the Lord's will, this is satan just trying to mess around with me...and I don't want to give him the pleasure of seeing us miss out on such a blessing!"

So I will treck on getting everything put together.  I'm not expecting it to all get done quickly...I don't feel the time restriction as I did the last 2 times.  It's kind of hard to explain but the last 2 adoptions were a way of "completing" our family.  This time it's more, "we are called to care for the orphans" and if the Lord has another child for our family then we are super excited to meet this child and love him (her) to pieces.  My heart is already full.  BUT if this is not the right timing or if this is it for our family then my heart will be hurt but I still have my 2 boys who I adore and a third child just wasn't meant to be.  I am confident that the Lord will work everything out for HIS good!

Here We Go Again...

When I think about us adopting for the THIRD time, the movie "The gods Must be Crazy" comes to mind...only replace "The gods" with "The deSouzas"!  What are we thinking?  What AM I thinking?  I'm the one who does almost all the paper work, I will be the one doing all the packing, I will be the one travelling (I'll get to that later) and I'll be the stay-at-home mom of THREE kids!  But hubby and I believe that we are meant to adopt once again internationally.  We believe the Lord has called us to do so.  I have been waiting {im}patiently for hubby to be on board with me.  A lot of praying has gone into it as well.  I NEVER wanted it to me pushing the topic/decision.  I wanted hubby to want it as well.  My heart was aching each and every day.  I wanted so badly to call our agency and say, "Send us the contract.  We're ready."  Suddenly, one evening, hubby turned to me and asked, "So when are we starting #3?"  I played it cool as if I didn't know what he was talking about (YEAH RIGHT!).  The rest is history.  The contract has been signed and the first cheque signed!

So after looking into our options we have decided that the China Special Needs program is where the Lord is leading us.  There are several reasons for this.  I absolutely love our adoption agency and wouldn't want to go with any other organization.  They are like family and they really give the guidance and support that is needed.  Another reason, is that for China only one parent is required to travel, and it's "only" a 2-week stay.  Jon really doesn't want to travel again.  We aren't the travelling type, unless it's to somewhere in the USA, where home is not too far off.  Since I'm more willing to travel and wouldn't consider any other possibility, because I must be there to hold my child for the first time, there was no question I'd be the one to travel, while Jon stays home with the boys.  My mom has said she is willing to travel with me and possibly my dad since he missed out on the last 2 adoption travel experiences.

The most important reason we feel we are being led to China is we decided that we were very much open to go through the Special Needs program.  While in Vietnam we witnessed so many precious children with special needs that were in desperate need of a family.  I knew there was a reason the Lord brought us to Vietnam, but I didn't realize what that reason was.  I will always remember the first day we spent at the Red Cross orphanage.  There was the most precious baby girl.  We couldn't keep our eyes off her.  Mom ran to her when she cried, just to hold her.  Her special need?  She has a cleft lip (& palate -- I'm not sure).  I fell in love with her and wished I could bring her home with us.  Unfortunately we could not, but fortunately another family from Quebec did.  I now get to see this beautiful little girl grow up through her mom's blog.  This sweet baby girl had the biggest impact on our family.  Mom felt called to sponsor an organization that performs surgeries on children with cleft lip and palate and Jon and I will probably be adopting a boy with this "special need".  I don't even consider this a special need...it's a birth defect that is correctable and the child will grow up healthy and loved.  Yes he(she) will need surgeries, but we're not going to turn away one of God's children simply because he/she needs surgeries, dental work, speech therapy and whatever else they may need. 

Psalm 127:3 -- "Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him."  This verse doesn't say "only healthy, perfect children" are a reward from the Lord.  ALL children are a reward from Him.  We want to go where the Lord leads us.  We want to embrace any child the Lord rewards us with.

And NO our main reason for choosing China is not because we want a girl.  Most families want to adopt girls, so we'll take the boys.  I love being a "boymom" and adding 1 more boy would be a blessing to me and to our family.

Please join us as we begin our journey to CHINA.  When our family comes to mind, please say a prayer that we would be in the Lord's will and not our own and that all the finances required would be available.  We are taking a leap of faith and we know if the this is the Lord's will, He will provide to the last penny.