He Knew...

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

This is a verse Nathaniel and I have been reading from his very new, very own big boy Bible that Jon and I bought for him a couple of weeks ago.  I would ask him if he understood what the verse meant and then we would go over it.  I also asked him if he knew what the difference between Heaven and hell was.  Of course hell is that really, really hot place that no one wants to go to.  So he said he wanted to go to Heaven.  We ended that discussion on Wednesday and on Thursday night before we started our prayer time, Nathaniel claimed, "Mommy I want to say a prayer and ask Jesus to live in my heart."  And there we have it folks, the newest member in God's family!

Friday night when Jon came home from his business trip, Nathaniel told him the good news.  We wanted to make sure Nathaniel really knew what his decision meant and he explained everything to us.  WOW!  Then as Jon and Nathaniel left for piano lessons, I heard Nathaniel ask his daddy, "Daddy can we talk about Jesus in the car?"

I've been wanting to share the good news with everyone, but I wanted to make sure Nathaniel told a couple of people before shouting it from the roof tops (or from Facebook) and now he has so I can tell everyone I know!  There was no coaxing, no guilt trips and no pressuring.  This was the genuine decision of a beautiful 6 year old little boy.  All we did was read to him, and talk to him.  God worked all the rest out.

After church today, I was alone in the car, and it hit me..He knew.  The Lord knew long before this little boy was even born that one day there would be a child who would need a home and who would also want Jesus to live in his heart and so he would need a family to encourage that desire.  He knew that this child would be named Nathaniel. He knew this child would be born in the Philippines.  He knew this child would spend the first 26 months of his life without a mommy and daddy.  He knew that this child would be chosen for our family.  And He knew that on Thursday, October 25, 2012, this 6 year old boy named Nathaniel would ask for forgiveness, acknowledge that Christ died on the cross for his sins, and then ask Jesus to live in his heart.  He knew that this child would need a a loving family and loving church family to guide him and teach him the ways of the Lord.

 "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb."  Psalm 139:13

He knows.  The Lord knows our life story before it is even played out.  He knows our strengths and our weakness'.  He knows where we will succeed and where we will fail.  I am so thankful that He knew Nathaniel would make this decision and that He gave me the honor to be there when Nathaniel said his simple yet most meaningful prayer ever!  It is a moment I will never forget and I can not wait to see the changes in Nathaniel and how this will affect the rest of his life...I don't know...but HE KNOWS!

 

Hiccup(s)!

"For the revelation awaits an appointed time: it speaks of the end and will not prove false.  Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.'  Habakkuk 2:3

This is a verse someone shared with me when we were waiting for Nathaniel and I have never forgotten it.  It was shared with me on one of those difficult days when it felt like we were never going to get approved from the Philippines.  This feeling of desperation is not uncommon when it comes to adoption...

With each adoption we've had hiccups.  Without going into too much detail, when we started wayyyyy back in 2004, we were put on hold for 18 months.  We began the process again 18 months, TO THE DAY.  Things went relatively smoothly from that point on, other than waiting several months for our approval from the Philippines.  Once we were on that list my desperation and insecurities subsided.  Then a little over 1 year after being home with Nathaniel, we started yet another adoption process, assuming the Lord would bless us with another child from the Philippines.  Our file was put together very smoothly and we waited for our approval from the Philippines.  Hiccup.  The Philippines denied our application.  Once again feelings of desperation started to stir up.  What were we going to do?  The Lord eventually led us to Vietnam, and that process went very smoothly.  Now for the third process, it couldn't possibly go smoothly, right?

We didn't "assume" which country we were to go to.  We researched, waited and prayed and felt the Lord leading us to China.  So we have put our file together, it took awhile, but it finally got to Batshaw.  We met with the rep at Batshaw on Thursday to sign our contract.  We were shocked by what the rep told us.  On Jon's medical form there is a question to the affect, "Do you think his/her marriage is sound to apply for an adoption?"  Jon's moronic doctor answered this question with a 'NO'...Are you kidding me?  Of course it's kind of our (Jon's :-) ) fault as we never picked up on it before handing in our file.  This doctor, as most doctors, doesn't know a thing about our marriage.  Even if there was something to be concerned about, he wouldn't have a clue.  So now the social worker has to 'investigate' further.  HICCUP!  I was laughing on Thursday when we left Batshaw, but when the social worker phoned that evening I was almost in tears. 

Mom says that this is just the Lord's way of prolonging the process so that the child He has chosen will be good and ready for us, in His time.  I will hold on to that theory good and tight.  As I think about this hiccup over and over, the verse above keeps ringing in my head.  We must wait for it and it will certainly come and will not delay.  Whatever 'it' is, another adoption or something else, we will wait upon the Lord...

Lord,

We pray that You will lead us in the direction we are to go.  We pray that this hiccup is all apart of Your plan for our family.  We commit the process to You and that the social worker would receive the answers he needs from the doctor and that this can all get straightened out. We wait for Your answers.

Amen

No News...Is Well...No News!

During our wait for an acceptance from the Philippines, our agency would always say, "No news is good news!"...No news meant the authorities in the Philippines had not rejected our file.  I've been terrible updating this blog, but again I have nothing to update you on!  In this case, no news, is well..no news!  It has taken us forever to get our file to the local youth and family services (Batshaw) and once we finally did there were some documents missing (not from our end since by now I could prepare all the paper work with my eyes closed).  I think everything has finally been completed and we should be getting a call this coming week (maybe) to set up an appointment to sign our contract with Batshaw and then we can finally get things set up with our social worker.

We are praying for the same social worker we've had for the last 3 homestudies (yes I know we only have 2 children but the last one required an original homestudy and then a revised edition!).  He knows our story inside and out, he has our homestudy saved and since pretty much the only thing that has changed is Fredrick joining our family, it should be quite a fast write-up!  The benefit of having the same social worker is he really "knows" us.  He knows how passionate we are about adoption, what a stable family we are (or at least we think we are HA), and how much we want each of our children.  We don't have to "rehash" all of our feelings, intentions and life stories.  He is an awesome social worker and we (well Jon) feel pretty relaxed around him.  On top of all this, the less time he has to spend writing a homestudy report, the less it will cost us.  For Fredrick's report it was already that much less than Nathaniel's so here's hoping this one will be even that much less! In the adoption world the least amount of pennies spent, the better!

So one of the most common questions I get when people find out we're trying for a third adoption is, "Do you really have to do everything again?  All the same paperwork?"  The answer, my friends, is yes!  The same medicals, the same reference forms, the same personal information forms and yes another homestudy!  These are all set in place when you start an adoption process.  As annoying as it all is, I can understand that it is there to protect the children so I accept it and just get it all done!

I have many fears that we will be rejected for this adoption.  Keep in mind I was voted school pessimist in high school!  But then I look at pictures of our family of 4 and I get this overwhelming feeling that there is someone missing.  Another little boy (or girl if the Lord deems that necessary).  I also get these amazing visions of travelling to China to meet our son (daughter) and then I get excited but then I come back to reality and I don't want to play with my emotions.  I also tell myself daily that I can't possibly deal with 3 kids anyway.  But I know that isn't true.  The Lord will not give me more than I can handle.  So if He has chosen another child for this family, then with His strength and by His grace, I can do it!!!

"then Job replied to the Lord:  I know that YOU can do all things; no plans of YOURS can be thwarted."  Job 42:1-2